It’s been a crazy couple of months. I’ve moved out of DC and now I’m in a relationship in Kansas City.
Ever since I’ve moved here, I’ve been playing co-ed frisbee games with my boyfriend.
At first, I really had no idea what to expect.
I figured half the people playing would be female and the other half would be male. I mean, it’s a co-ed team, right? Anyway, co-ed sports are normal in America. I didn’t think much of it and I thought it’d be a fun thing to do now that I’m in a relationship. I mean frisbee is way better than running around on a treadmill or even worse on land, right?
The first time I showed up to the games, I was shocked that there were not really any females who came to play. Well, there was one but she was way older than me and she wasn’t someone I really could connect with. She had been playing the sport for years and was okay with playing with one of the boys. Heck, she blended in with them better. I wouldn’t exactly count her as a “female”.
On the other hand, there was me blossoming with cute naiveté. I mean I wore my Chanel perfume to this thing. I even wore a cute, bright pink tank paired with Lululemon’s and perfectly color-coordinated Nike sneakers.
I looked good. I felt good. That’s all that mattered to me.
I did not go to the game thinking I had to run and sweat. I came to the game thinking I’d have to compete against the other girls. I mean we’re just tossing a disc right and stand there for fifteen minutes, right?
Reality fooled me.
There weren’t really any people on that field that were like me. They were twice my size. They had way more muscle than I ever could have. They were men. Real men playing an aggressive sport.
I hated it.
And I hated myself for having to compete against not only women but having to now compete against men.
I was nothing like these guys.
I was not fast enough. I could not play well enough. I could not throw hard enough. I could not run and keep up. No one would throw the freaking frisbee to me. It was annoying to have to be play against an old man or a little boy (who by the way out ran me and scored multiple times).
That’s how bad I was. It felt awkward to be there.
But that was reality.
I was the slowest on the team. I could not keep up. I was not one of the boys and I did not want to be.
I wanted to bake an apple pie and put my hair tied up in a chignon. I wanted to do ballet at a dance center. I wanted to watch makeup tutorial videos and figure out whether I should buy the Morphe palette 35R or 35OS.
I wanted to do girly things. I wanted there to be some shade of pink involved. I wanted it to be cute and fun not aggressive and sweaty. That wasn’t for me.
I did not sign up for that.
The last thing I wanted to do is compete with men over something I knew I could not beat them at. This was their thing. This was not my thing. It was self-defeating and humiliating at best. I mean there’s no way I can defend a 6-foot-tall, 200-pound man when I’m literally half of his size and half as fast.
I am a girl. I wouldn’t even consider myself a woman because I barely have enough experience to be one. I’m young. I have long hair that bounces around when I run. I have small, feminine hands that are meant for baking and cooking and taking care of the kids, not aggressively cutting in front of someone to get a disc.
And that’s when I realized that I don’t need to be here forcing myself to play alongside men.
Co-ed sports is inherently dumb because it forces women to compete against men. The only way to play alongside men is by becoming more like them. This in turn, forces us to go against our natural feminine mindset so that we can adapt into something more masculine. Sacrificing one’s femininity is not a sacrifice worth making because women will never win this war. At the end of the day, it’s a lose-lose situation for women and men. Women lose their natural femininity just so they can be mediocre at being masculine. And men will never appreciate women for being someone they are not.
The last thing we need is more people with a masculine mindset because everything turns into a competition. Even stupid frisbee games that are not supposed to be taken seriously do. We don’t need more people in this world who want to compete because women will never win that war.
And what most people don’t realize is that we do this routinely to women.
We force women into male-dominated environments with the expectation that they will retain their natural, feminine submissiveness while performing like a man. We want women to have sexy, long hair and look sexy in a pencil skirt without being aggressive and manly but still have to get shit done.
We reward women for being like men but we get mad at women for acting bitchy.
Women turn into bitchy cunts when you make them do things that are against their nature. Leave women alone. Let them be in the kitchen. Let them make food for you. Let them get married young. Let them play with dolls. Let them wear pink and stop lecturing your daughters to wear a t-shirt that encourages them to go into STEM. Let them keep their hair long. Let them get their nails done. Let them study whatever their idealistic heart desires. Let them go to church. Let them laugh. Let them be “dumb”. Let them rely on their husbands for money. Let them take care of the kids. Let them shave their legs. Let them dance. Let them have a hundred girl friends before worrying about getting a boyfriend.
So the next time you see a receptionist who is a total cunt or a soccer girl who is pissed off, remember that these women are part of a system that has failed them. They will never be nice and submissive and not be bitchy when they are being forced to do a man’s work.
This is a guest post written by the lovely Ellemenoh. Follow her on Twitter @ellemenoh_us
I wear makeup to the gym… And to work, when I’m making a quick grocery run, having dinner with my parents, and even out on an impromptu my-neighbor-just-called-to-see-if-I-can-take-her-dog-out-because-she-flew-out-for-an-interview-this-morning-and-her-return-flight-is-delayed walk (true story).
OK, so I don’t wear a full face of makeup to sweat it out at the gym, but I never leave my house without at least some mascara and lip-gloss. Most days, I wear high heels to work. I’m in skirts and dresses far more than I’m in pants or shorts. I reserve a messy bun for working out or hanging out at home.
I don’t necessarily do these things to impress other people. I do these things because they (1) give me confidence and (2) project the image of a put-together, feminine woman. Of course, femininity is much more than outward appearance, but if a girl can’t even bother to adorn the package with pretty wrapping, who wants to open it and find out what’s inside?
Outward appearance is a projection of how you perceive your own value and how you expect the outside world value you. If you dress like a slob, you are subconsciously letting people know it’s okay to treat you like any other slob walking the streets. If you dress like a high value woman, you’re letting the world know you’re better than ahem basic. I hate that word, but it’s very accurate. If you think outward appearance has no influence on your daily interactions, try donning a flirty dress and heels next time you venture out to run errands. Gauge your reactions from people and compare them to when you walk out wearing “athleisure;” I guarantee you will be treated better – even if it’s just someone making eye contact and smiling when they would normally look down at their feet or phone.
And it’s not just interactions. Your outward appearance can also influence your confidence. Wearing heels to work makes me feel like I can accomplish anything that day. I literally stand taller. On the weekend or days that I work from home, I make sure to put on “real clothes” because I know it directly affects my productivity and motivation levels for the day.
You don’t have to look like a prom queen every time you leave the house, but, as my prim and proper grandmother says, “it’s always better to be the best dressed person in the room.” (Spoiler: my grandma is right about everything.) I stand by the belief that these days it’s easy to stand out as an American woman in the best way. Simply swapping your yoga pants, sneakers, and messy bun for fitted jeans, a blouse, and some pretty jewelry will put you a step above other women the next time you leave the house.
Americans are quick to sacrifice style, class, and modesty for comfort, but if you think proper clothing can’t be comfortable, you’re buying the wrong clothes. (“How to Shop for Clothes” is a topic I think young women could REALLY benefit to hear.) The next time you hop up to make a grocery run, visit a friend, or even take the dog for a walk, think to yourself “how can I improve my look in five to ten minutes?” and then DO IT.
You’re worth that. And if I see you at the gym with mascara on I’ll give you a knowing smile 😉
The lovely Dalia Mogahed with her smug Muslim feminism thought it was cute to post this gem on Facebook yesterday:
Apparently, there are 2,300 or so women roaming around Facebook who liked this post. Honestly, I don’t blame them.
Facebook is a giant circlejerk for women who love to compliment each other on getting that graduate degree because they don’t need no man. And let’s not forget that girl who always bitches about how that creepy construction worker winked at her which was really “sexually assault”.
God forbid a man actually found you attractive! So you’re going to complain about being too sexy and guys are still the problem? Hmm.
Let’s get something straight: there’s nothing wrong with a guy finding you attractive and there’s definitely no reason to hate on men for liking you. Be happy that you someone even found you attractive and be grateful for your youth and beauty.
I have major issues with Dalia and most feminists.
The reality of the situation is that feminism is not about anything but power. Feminism is most certainly about capitalizing off being a victim and then emasculating the same men who have helped them become more than victims.
It’s a trap and there’s no winning when it comes to feminism. If you think otherwise, you’ve been duped.
If you insult women like Dalia, they’ll hate you for it and it will empower them to become more feminist
If you support their charade, these same women will emasculate you for it and still wonder where all the “good men” went (you know, the same douche bags that would give them 0 time of day for being feminists).
Even though times have changed, our human needs have not.
Women have been fooling each other into thinking their degrees from college can make a guy hard, short hair is sexy, and gaining more than a couple pounds is okay because you know being a CEO is way more important than looking good.
As women will become more powerful, their needs will not change. Women will continue to expect their men to provide. I’ve met women in their 30s who are making lots of money and they still want their men to make even more money. Get a girl who makes 200k out of college and she’ll want someone who makes 250k a year. Crazy, I know.
Another problem with Dalia’s way of thinking is how she says all these women are “amazing”. Sounds pretty entitled to me. Maybe to Dalia, they are amazing because being “amazing” means having a 9 to 5, and being a strong, independent college-educated women. There’s lots of women like that around the world especially in America. That’s pretty generic and standard.
But are they nice? Are they fun to be around? Do they smile? Do they even take care of themselves? Are they genuinely pleasant people? Can they even cook or clean? Do they even know how to raise a kid or change a diaper?
I’m surrounded by these girls in college and they’re a drag to be around.
Even I can’t stand being around girls who talk about politics 24/7, swear like a man, and think making money is way more important than starting a family as soon as they finish college. I couldn’t imagining marrying one or even worse, having to have sex with one.
Sometimes, a girl like me just wants to talk about girly stuff like who the cute boys in my class are, what color I should get for my next manicure, and whether I should adopt a lamb or a pig because baby animals are cute.
Is this a thought crime?
Nah. I’m not apologizing for anything.
I honestly feel bad for all these entitled ladies out there who think they deserve a man because they spent thousands of dollars on multiple degrees which is pretty meaningless in the grand scheme of things like one’s happiness.
Masculine men don’t care about the piece of paper you get when you graduate or where you got it from or the amount of hours you spent trying to get there. Masculine men don’t fear successful, intelligent women because well, they’re men.
And the only men that do care about what women are doing or saying are pussywhipped and are the same ones that probably don’t even exist in the eyes of women like Dalia hence the “problem” she clearly is witnessing. No man seems good enough for her or the women around her so she has to emasculate and degrade them for her own gain.
I used to be a slave to my emotions and thought I had it all because I go to a pretty good college. I used to expect men to like me more because of that.
Even though going to a good college and getting an education is a privilege that I’m fortunate to say that I have, there’s more to life.
I think we all are to an extent but we’ve been shamed into thinking that commenting on race makes us racists. It’s kind of pathetic.
It’s just a part of who we are. It’s part of our identity. It just matters on some level. It’s cool to connect with someone who looks like you and shares similar values.
I’ve been Ubering in and out of DC a lot recently to meet up with friends and almost every time I get into one, the driver always asks me where I’m from.
Is that racist?
I don’t really see it as racist. I don’t really even see that as xenophobic either since most of the people who ask me these questions are immigrants and people of color.
Even if they are white, I just assume they’re simply curious not because they think I’m not from here simply based on skin tone all the while knowing that I live in a white-majority country.
Anyway, they had no reason to question my citizenship or status in America since I was born and raised here in NYC, dressed like a Westerner, and sometimes, even sound like a Valley girl.
I mean, when you have long jet-black hair and tan skin you can be mistaken for being Indian, Pakistani, Afghani, Middle Eastern, Latina, and sometimes even Mediterranean so I don’t really blame any of these people regardless of their race.
When you look like me, you probably will not guess that I’m Persian with some Turkish and British blood who has parents from India.
Sometimes, they get it right though.
Most of the time, they don’t but I like to give people some slack. Anyway, if you asked me to differentiate between a German, Irish person, and a Brit or a Chinese and a Korean, from a Japanese person, I would probably guess wrong too.
Is that racist? Nah. A bit ignorant, maybe. At least, I’m honest. Most people would not want to admit to that even though it’s true.
To be fair, I don’t really notice race is most situations. I don’t go out and my mind doesn’t think “This white person walked past me” and “I’m living with an Asian roommate”. It’s usually more like “This guy walked past me” and “I’m living with a roommate”. Their race is tucked away in the back of my mind. I don’t think about it much.
Even when it comes to going out on dates, I never used to care much about race.
My first and only ever boyfriend I had was a blue-eyed German-Irish boy with long blonde hair who was really good at playing multiple instruments. I thought he was a hot version of Kurt Cobain who I desperately wanted to be alive when I was 17 years old.
I know, I know. I was an idiot.
Our relationship did not pan out well not but I would never solely blame it on race because that was only one of the many differences we had.
Ever after him, I continued to date white men usually of German/Irish ancestry because I tend to be surrounded by them. I think I have been attracted to men with blue eyes since I was little and thought they were exotic to me just like how they probably thought I was exotic to them.
Looking back, I don’t really think I was trying to specifically go out of my way to date a specific race or group of men though. It kind of just happens when you’re surrounded by them. I just liked the idea of being with white men even though we didn’t seem to have much in common usually when it came to our mindset as I later found out.
The men I dated liked to eat bacon and drink beer, were way more adventurous than me and my father, and kept dogs which I never had in my home (but I like the idea of having a white lab!).
They usually didn’t seem to know much about their heritage and had a rough idea when I asked them about it, liked sports like swimming, polo, or tennis, and were not really materialistic.
Many worked in the government/military/business, came from a divorced home usually but their parents had remarried at some point or had a boyfriend/girlfriend now, and largely believed in egalitarianism.
On the other hand there was me.
I never ate bacon growing up in a Muslim home nor did I drink, was not really adventurous aside from seeing my father hunt elk, and never had a dog but I thought they were cute.
I loved my Persian heritage and liked to talk about it, grew up with a penchant for wrestling, had family working in medicine or business, and liked soccer and fencing.
I am somewhat materialistic and own some luxury goods, am grateful for having parents married for over 30 years, and grew up around people who could be viewed as largely sexist or classist.
Those weren’t huge deal breakers or anything but when stacked up together, they really made me feel disconnected. After two years of dating, I realized even though many times I was attracted to them physically, there really wasn’t anything else there. It didn’t matter if I went on three dates or thirteen; I just got sick of not being able to bond. I got sick of looking at someone who didn’t look anything like me.
Then again, some of those differences existed because we came from different backgrounds and have a different race but many of those differences stemmed from the fact that we had different mindsets and ways of approaching life.
I’ve gone out on dates with all kinds of white men. Upper class. Lower class. Middle class. Some of them really loved their heritage, knew where they were from, and loved their background. For others, it didn’t matter so much.
I really liked the guys who knew where they came from and loved their heritage and I tended to bond with the ones who are upper middle class just like me. They believed in the same things I did and had the same mindset. That was key.
Like I said, you can’t generalize.
But, when I dated them, for whatever reason, it just did not feel right. When I walked around and saw couples that looked like each other, I remember going out on a date and thinking “What the heck am I doing with this guy?”. I questioned the legitimacy of being with someone of another race when surrounded by people who had partners of their own race who looked like they were practically siblings at cocktail parties.
It didn’t help when people would randomly come up to us on the street and tell us that we looked good together. It didn’t help when the waitress on dates would tell us we looked beautiful. Those compliments sounded forced and automated. I couldn’t help but think they’re crazy.
Or maybe I was a crazy racist.
I did not want to be exotic. I didn’t care about having the hypothetical “beautiful interracial babies” we are supposed to have. I thought that just sounded weird and fetishy. I just wanted to be normal.
I thought 2016 would be different. And so, I tried to date my own kind.
White men weren’t the problem though. It was partially me. I am a bit tribal. I am mostly Persian. I like the idea of dating other Persians all the while living in a white-majority country.
I liked being around them mainly because I’m almost never around them and when I am, it just felt nice. I wanted someone who looked and sounded like me. I wanted someone who just “gets it”.
I wanted someone who could relate with having immigrant parents. I wanted someone to come home to and make chai for. I wanted someone to say “Salam” too. Persians excite me.
I wanted someone who could articulate their views on Islam good and bad and not just say “Oh, they need to be deported. They’re all ISIS. Fuck Islam.” because well, it’s more complicated than that. I didn’t feel like I need to explain these things to someone I’m with.
But, that does not negate the fact that white guys can be pretty good-looking or take good care of their women. I mean, I do not hate white guys nor will I ever.
My father’s great-grandparents are British and most people in my family are well integrated into the US because they went on and married outside their race. They did not just want to form a little enclave and network within.
I think white guys are fun to hang around, have a good sense of humor, and tend to be more open about dating and stuff than some of the Persian men I know.
I just figured most white men probably would date their own so I never used to even bother dating them. The idea of it sounded cool. The reality, not so much. I mean why wouldn’t someone want to date their own kind? Why wouldn’t someone want to be with someone like them? This isn’t even about race. It’s simple: like attracts like.
According to a Pew Research Center survey from 2008, I wasn’t wrong to think how I do. I mean, whites are the least likely to marry outside their race. But they don’t seem to be too tribal when it comes to dating in liberal cities DC or in NYC as I have seen. Marriage is different though and a much bigger commitment.
And so I did go on to date someone who was more like me. Unsurprisingly, our chemistry was unbelievable. I didn’t feel weird about spending time with him and he didn’t feel weird wanting to introduce me to his family. I was pretty surprised when he used to talk about his family because I had never really reached that point with other guys I’ve dated in the past.
When we’d walk around together, it did feel normal although we had other issues and haven’t stayed together, I definitely did feel somewhat better about dating my own.
I felt at ease and didn’t feel like every time I would go one step forward, I would go one step back. There was always this reluctance I had with dating outside my own race. It just felt odd and fleeting.
Would I date one for marriage? I don’t know.
Race for me is not a deciding factor at this point. It isn’t something I think about much when their mindset matters to me way more.
I’ve gone out with several people outside my race and within my race to come to the realization that their mindset is way more important than their race. I’ve dated people within my race that I had 0 connection with because of the way they carried themselves. And I’ve also dated people outside my race for the same exact reason.
But, I will say this:
I think it’s important to integrate into America which is mostly white and marrying one can be an essential part of the melting process in this giant melting pot.
I don’t really want to balkanize America and form my own ethnic enclave so my kids end up hating white people or majority of America because we choose to put our racial identity first. My nation is more important than my race and I refused to put my race first.
I also think that melting into the melting pot is part of a sacrifice that immigrants should make to pay homage to the people who came before us.
My father didn’t come here to make up his own laws. He knew he had to learn English and that he would be mostly surrounded by mostly white people. After all, America was 90% white in 1970.
I think most immigrants who came here know this but don’t want to admit it. Lots of cognitive dissonance at work.
At the same time, I don’t want to forget my roots or where I came from. I think Indian clothes is beautiful. I think naming your child Xerxes is awesome. Zoroastrianism is pretty interesting to learn about as well. To this day, I still prefer eating Persian food on the reg.
But I also do not want to be shamed for dating a white guy by people of my own kind because “I gave up on them” and be called a white supremacist or whatever nasty word they hurl at me.
Let’s be real. Not all white people are Nazis and not all Muslims are ISIS. Generalizations are pointless when describing large groups of people.
I don’t think people should be indoctrinated to engage in interracial dating because dating outside your race is more “exotic” or “cool” for doing so. At the same time, I don’t think marrying outside your race is inherently a bad thing and people don’t need to be shamed for doing so.
If I’ve learned anything in the last few years, it is that mindset is key. I care more about a person’s outlook on life than their skin color but I wouldn’t shame someone for thinking otherwise to take the higher moral ground.
I was feeling crappy today. Didn’t want to get out of bed. Woke up with the sniffles. The last thing I wanted to do was wear my nude Steve Madden heels.
But I did it anyway.
I thought people were going to judge me and think I was a bitch. I mean, maybe they did think that but at least I was a “bitch” with good shoes.
I got up. Slipped on my pair of nude heels and headed to class. Mind you, these are the heels I wear to formals and social gatherings not something I would wear for casual occasions.
Got into the elevator. Girl next to me looked slightly intimidated but impressed. They were more willing to ask me which floor I was going to while guys seem to hold the door for me more often. As I walked around campus, guys definitely glanced more and smiled.
Wearing heels definitely makes you the center of attention.
One girl even came up to me while I was on line waiting for my food and asked me where I got my shoes from. It’s a good conversation starter and girls will look up to you. Feminine girls will come up to you and you will attract them like a magnet.
Guys will like you because you look like you actually cared about appearance and seem more dateable than a girl wearing an old pair of Lululemon’s. Just remember that men are not intimidated by well-dressed women.
I think a lot of American people in general prioritize comfort instead of fashion. This isn’t really exclusive to women either. It also explains why brands like Orvis, Uggs, Patagonia, North Face, Vineyard Vines, Ralph Lauren, Nike, Levi’s, and New Balance are popular. They appeal to people who are practical and rarely ever would think they need to wear 5-inch-heels when running around doing errands.
I mean I get it. I like wearing neon sneakers and Nike leggings too. It just makes life easier.
But, I think heels are fun.
They make me walk slowly even though many working women are in a rush and feel more feminine and carefree. They make me worry less about the 3 pm meeting which will probably be a snoozefest and more about how I look in public. Heels also make me feel more self-conscious and vulnerable to men.
I rarely ever see girls wear heels unless they’re on their way to an interview, at a formal work thing, or at a club. Most American girls don’t just get up and wear heels just because. There’s always a reason. That kinda sucks the fun out of wearing them because it’s not spontaneous anymore.
And many don’t wear the sexy kind or can properly walk in 2+ inch heels. They’re like kitten heels or whatever. Lame. But hey, I’ll take some heel over no heel, most of the time.
I guess, not everyone is as lucky as me but I’ve been wearing heels since I was 13-years-old. I started off with one inch heels and can now easily wear heels that are four to five inches in the daytime with zero issues. Even in high school, I wore boots with three inch heels while the other girls came in with flat boots or Doc Martens and they thought i was crazy.
If you’re changing up your wardrobe, heels are a good thing. Sure, they’re painful and annoying to walk in but it’s worth the benefits you get from the aura you create.
So, if you’re ever having a bad day. Slip on a pair of heels and wear a Dr. Scholl’s insert if you have to. They might seem impractical and you might feel like you don’t need to be wearing them but it will boost your self esteem even if people think you’re crazy for dressing up.
Four years ago, I got into a top college in DC with a scholarship.
I was on the wait list for Wellesley, a liberal feminist’s wet dream, but in retrospect, I’m glad I didn’t get in or this blog would not exist. Who knows? Maybe, I would be ten times uglier or even have short blue hair. Even thinking about it makes me want to vomit.
Obviously, as a 17-year-old girl I was excited to leave my home and start somewhere new just like every other American kid. I won’t lie though; I was practically a baby. I only knew how to bake vanilla cakes from scratch which was a useless skill to have since I did not even have a kitchen my freshman year. Oh, and I knew that I had to separate my whites from my colored clothes when doing laundry.
My father wasn’t happy for obvious reasons and my parents really wondered if I could survive here with all the drinking, partying, drugs, and boys, of course. I somehow convinced them that I would be able to live in a city on my own without them even against my father’s will. My mom supported me though but she’s definitely more of a liberal when it comes to these kinds of things.
So off I went.
At the time, I was somewhat familiar with Return of Kings because I had come across this guide to rate girls from this article which I found on the MISC section of bodybuilding.com. Don’t ask me why I was into MISC but the idea of being able to see and read the thoughts of guys was pretty cool since I never even went on a date with a guy in high school or really had any male friends.
I had read a couple of articles on RoK like this one and this one after doing a quick Google search on DC. I just figured RoK was a clickbait website and didn’t take it too seriously. And at the time, I had no idea who this Roosh guy was but he seemed like a Persian troll to me.
I went into DC with an open mind even after reading those articles but a lot of things he has said are true.
Even though I am in college, I’ve met tons of people who live around here who are older or in the area.
Personally, I don’t think the guys are that bad if you’re into white guys who have a preppy style (think Vineyard Vines, Ralph Lauren, boat shoes) or men who regularly wear an ill-fitted suit and tie (suits are still kinda sexy if they don’t fit). I’ve also seen lots of younger men have a hipster style (think big glasses, tight jeans, weird hair) which I’m not really into around U Street, Adams Morgan, and at American/GWU.
The guys can be fratty prepsters who look like they are working or want to work at a big law firm. Some other guys look like beta shitlibs. I wasn’t really a fan of either look to be honest.
The guys here aren’t as well-dressed as the ones I know of in NYC but it’s not the most important thing that I look for when considering a guy. Again, it varies.
A lot of the guys are unfortunately feminine but I don’t think that’s exclusive to DC. It’s just that a lot of them support things like abortion and being pro-choice and aren’t conservative or know how to use a gun. Also, gay culture is pretty big here and there’s tons of gay men in Dupont Circle.
Finding masculine men is as hard as it is to find a feminine woman and the people who do seem to fit their traditional gender roles are internationals (think au pairs, ambassadors, tourists) or military guys who are unfit for long-term relationships, unfortunately.
PUA or pick-up artist scene here is definitely a thing. I’ve been asked several times by random men on the street doing day game if they wanted to date me. Obviously, I knew what they were up to so I declined politely and several even admitted to having a goal of meeting “100 women”. I’ve also seen some of them hanging around Saturday afternoon by the Dupont Circle fountain (not sure if that’s there meet up place) but just sayin’.
Personally, that’s fine with me. It’s good that there are men who want to improve their dating skills and I won’t judge ’em for it but dating a PUA is not for me. They can play their game with someone else 😉
On the other hand, the girls here are super liberal and create a noxious environment for everyone which is why I don’t really hang out with them. I had no idea how many of these women are so passionate about social justice issues none of which I’m that into. Then again, this is DC and people come here thinking they’ll change the world so I guess it’s idiotic to think otherwise.
Every time I go to the Hill, the women look like miserable career chicks doing the 9 to 5 grind. I rarely ever see girls here smile and they don’t really look too good in their all black pantsuits either.
Coming from NYC, the women and men here are not as attractive nor try to be. Girls here care more about the white man killing off Native Americans than what’s on sale in the makeup section at CVS. I rarely ever see well-dressed people unless they’re going out to a formal nor do the girls wear makeup or heels. They just don’t look feminine when they choose to wear LuluLemon yoga pants or their oversized, Canada Goose jackets which are in style now. It’s more about brands and labels than it is about looking like a girl – something I never really liked about DC women.
Even when girls do go out, I feel like a lot of them look trashy in their weird dresses with cutouts and crop tops they bought from Forever 21.
A lot of the girls I know here have evolved. They’ve gone from being somewhat girly, somewhat awkward teenagers to having tattoos and getting piercings in their 20s. Also, I’ve noticed that a lot of girls hipster or not have a nose ring. It’s just weird.
In the summer time, it is not as bad since I see more girls wearing dresses but a lot of them choose to wear t-shirt and shorts with flip flops. Personally, I don’t like wearing flip flops because it looks sloppy and would rather wear wedges, at least if not heels!
The only thing that I like here is that everyone seems to be physically active and by that I mean, everyone does a lot of cardio or runs. I barely ever see fat people but I do see lots of skinny fat people who aren’t exactly fit or fat. It’s not bad though.
The Dating Scene
Dating here is kind of a mess and varies a lot. I’ve seen men with 0 social skills or “game” give out their business cards to girls thinking they would be impressed because they work at some law firm on K Street. It’s kind of pathetic how dating can be treated like a business transaction but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do.
I’ve seen just as many unenthusiastic women who literally hate men and feel like they deserve Channing Tatum to ask them out on a date in Georgetown. There’s more women to men and DC has the highest female to male ratio in the country which should make it more competitive for women but in reality, girls here don’t really try and guys probably have given up at this point.
Getting married before 25 in DC is pretty weird and generally not a good thing because grrrrl power. I don’t know how many my own friends told me I was crazy for wanting to settle down at 21.
Tinder here is pretty big. I don’t know about the other dating apps but if you’re a girl, there’s lots of military guys on there. Lots of girls that I know of hook up with guys on the app since meeting people in DC is kinda hard if you’re a girl with like 1000 gay guy friends.
I’ve also noticed that a lot of people here don’t seem to prioritize dating as much because if you’re young, you’re expected to care more about your career. DC definitely does attract career women who think they do not need a man. These same women end up becoming 30 or worse yet, 40 sitting next to me in a coffee shop asking their girlfriend where all the good men went. I never know if I should feel bad for them or not.
I was pretty surprised to meet girls with such high number counts. I’m graduating college and although most of my friends haven’t really been in a relationship. Most of them have gone out on dates or just hooked up with guys but it was never anything serious. If you’re a young woman, I’d date older guys (not exclusively a DC thing of course) because you would probably have better luck with them.
Also, if you can, get out of DC and date people who either live in DC permanently or in Maryland or Virginia if you want something more stable. I always felt like a lot of young people my age are always on the move or in DC for an internship on the Hill, their government job, or because they go to college here which wasn’t the greatest for a relationship. The timing wasn’t great but I guess that’s life.
I’ve seen lots of interracial couples here. DC is definitely way more liberal than NYC. I’ve never had issues going out on dates with people of other races and I’ve been complimented more often than not for being with someone of another race. If that’s your thang, you might find a lucky someone here.
The Social Justice Warriors
SJWs ruin everything.
These days, I can’t even go on Facebook without scrolling through rants about the wage gap, how Mr. Whitey has so much privilege, or how birth control is a super important woman’s health issue.
I mean, I don’t know about you guys but I go on Facebook to look at pictures of my friends and cute dogs at the local animal shelter. I’m not there for politics. Unfortunately, after going to a super liberal university for four years, everyone feels the need to say something because they’re social justice warriors.
Here’s some examples of what I have to put up :
I don’t even bother going on Facebook to look at pics of my friends because so many of them take low quality pics of themselves drunk at Sign of the Whale (a local bar) or have cut their hair so short that they’ve literally become ugly.
Why would I want to see any of this? Although I’ll admit that I lowkey do like to see feminists self-destruct even though some of my classmates are ugly now 😦
Anyway, I can’t wait to leave this crazy leftist paradise. It’s been hell for me.
I’ve come to the fact that most American women are, dare I say, somewhat delusional?
Now, hear me out here. Before you start calling me names, I’ll let you know that I’m not totally insane.
And I’ll admit to it myself, I used to be pretty delusional myself. I’m not as bad anymore, but I have my moments.
When you’re getting hundreds of likes for a sub par profile picture on Facebook while most men on average are probably getting 10-20 (if that even), you’re going to think pretty highly of yourself and you probably won’t question yourself.
Self-confidence is good. Loving yourself is good.
But we need to be realistic with ourselves.
There’s a difference.
So if you think you’re a 10/10, unless your name is Candice Swanepoel or some other Victoria’s Secret model and you’re reading my blog, you’re probably living in your own little world and you NEED to keep reading.
Still don’t get what I’m talking about?
Ask yourself this:
When was the last time you were critiqued by a man about your looks, appearance, and the way you carry yourself?
If you’re a woman living in America, this has probably never happened to you. That’s because if a guy did that, he would be in big, big trouble.
Also, ask yourself this:
When was the last time you critiqued your own looks, appearance, and the way you carry yourself?
If you’re a young lady and never have had to critique yourself because all you hear is positive stuff 24/7, you are probably living your life as a lie. Luckily enough, we can fix this.
It’s unfortunate that most men in America these days can’t even critique a girl without having his masculinity in some way shape or form insulted.
Don’t believe me, still?
When Kanye West made fun of Amber Rose for sleeping around a lot, her response wasn’t “Hey, knock it off, bud!” or “I’m not a slut!” (even those are mild compared to what she actually said). Instead she went on to insult Kanye’s masculinity. Bad move! Very unfeminine!
Still don’t believe me?
When Donald Trump called Hillary Clinton a “nasty woman”, most American women decided to embrace it and make art exhibits to raise money for Planned Parenthood, which kills babies (but shh, it’s a zygote so it doesn’t matter, right. WRONG!).
Women wanted to be nasty and identified that way. How unfeminine have we become? Even though at times, our President Donald Trump might use caustic language, why would I ever want to be a nasty woman?
Even Elizabeth Warren co-opted the term “nasty woman” and associated it with being tough, smart, and ones who vote.
To be honest, I would NEVER want to be a nasty woman. Who cares about being strong or looking like Liz Warren who comes off as a bitter, career woman.
The worst part is, is that this all has a trickle down effect when it comes to dating. Men and women in America are now more hostile towards each other. Men now have to be politically correct while women just benefit from the system since they are beginning to have more control than ever.
It’s gotten so bad that this probably would happen if a guy critiqued a girl about her weight in America:
Daniel: Wow, you’re a couple pounds overweight. Don’t you think you should lose some of it?
Becky (screaming): UGH HOW DARE YOU PIECE OF SHIT. YOU’RE NOT A MAN. YOUR MOTHER DIDN’T RAISE YOU RIGHT. YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT TO INSULT ME. I’M A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DO NOT NEED YOU, DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I’M A 10/10 YOU CAN’T GET ANYONE BETTER THAN ME.
Daniel: Well, sorry! I just thought it’d be good for your health.
Becky: *throws glass of water at him and exits bar to have a wine night with Maddie, Christine, and Lauren so they can talk about how much they hate men*
Becky could have just been not as aggressive but instead threw a temper tantrum which is pretty immature. The ideal thing Becky could have done is listened to Daniel and take his advice. Her submitting to the fact that a man wants a thinner woman and yielding to him is quite feminine.
Let’s face it, ladies: being a woman in America has become a lot easier.
Guys don’t expect that much stuff from us. And when they do, we lash out at them for it. Now, don’t get me wrong, if a guy is being an asshole to you for no reason, dump him. But if he wants you to look nice, be thin, and pretty that’s not a lot to ask for.
When you have hideous creatures like Lena Dunham and Amy Schumer (which literally no one finds funny by the way) roaming around being praised for pretty much just existing, we begin to lose sight of our value.
Here was 2016’s Pirelli calendar featuring Amy Schumer and Serena Williams. I’ve never met any woman or man who finds either of them attractive but because their female bodies have become normalized, we are now forced to accept them without critiquing them. There is nothing wrong with either of their bodies except the fact that as women in America, we are forced to accept that these are what women should aspire to.
Amy Schumer looks horrendous. First of all, she’s naked so I’m already not a fan but the fact that she has fat rolls is even more gross. She comes off as immodest and masculine.
In the past, we’ve had world-class, gorgeous 6 ft tall models including Gisele Bundchen, Miranda Kerr, Heidi Klum and others. These girls are stunning and have impeccable bodies.
Heidi Klum seems nice and feminine and shy while Amy Schumer looks like she could careless about having fat rolls. Gross!
Being naked isn’t that feminine anyway but Heidi Klum’s approach to it is more feminine than Amy’s.
So the real question is, how can we as American women fix our flaws? Well, first of all, we have to understand that yes, we do have flaws. They exist.
I’ve had over 30 guys message me or reply to me about things they just don’t like about us. Some of these things may apply to you and others might not. There’s a lot of truth in this but get ready for some criticism.
Common Complaints American Men have for American Women
“I like girls who are smart, enjoy girly shit, aren’t vulgar, and want to support me, not compete with me.”
“They are uncultured”
“Low self esteem, no father figures, no standards”
“Needing too many facebook affirmations and not forming real support groups of friends.”
“They actually believe a career will be more fulfilling than being a wife and mother.”
“Sleep around a lot”
“They’re barely in their teenage years and already consider themselves as grown women. Wisdom comes with books not with sleeping around”
“Most of them are brainwashed by feminism”
“They have manly voices”
“Sloppy appearance and swearing”
“Women were taught and praised to be proper, clean, elegant and now they don’t have to anymore”
“They don’t respect me”
“Too much makeup”
“Bad skin and are heavy set”
“Aren’t committed to men,need a new guy all the time”
“Spends too much time on Tinder, Bumble, Facebook”
“Girls lead me on when they’re already in relationships or married and waste my time”
“They don’t act like they need me.”
“Too fat and don’t care about their weight”
“They have a strong sense of entitlement and lack humility”
“Do not compromise with me”
“Do not listen to me”
“They can’t cook or clean so why should I bother?”
“I am a successful man. All I want is someone who can take care of the home and take care of me”
I know this might be a shock to some of you but if you made it to this point, I’m happy for you. A little criticism can go a long way.
Now, we can now start on the next step: self-improvement and fixing everything.