In the past two years, I’ve spent about a year dating guys my own age. Didn’t have much luck with that so I took the advice of my friend who is seeing someone 10 years older than her, to “date older”.
When I first started out, I took her advice to heart and I dated “older”. I was 19 at the time and I decided to date a 23-yr-old and even a 22-year-old. It never worked out with either of them. Now, age definitely had something to do with it. Neither of them for example were clear with what they wanted. Neither of them had clear intentions. They would just keep leading me on trying to have sex with me and it just never worked. The fact is, neither of them had any idea what they were doing. They were new to things. They were beginning to realize things about women. I should have been more understanding when I was dating them but I ended up wasting time thinking that after months of seeing each other, they could come to a conclusion as to whether we were in a relationship or not. Neither did. One ghosted. The other one kept stringing me along, made out with me, and I was basically his emotional plate who made him brownies and entertained him with my personality.
When I was 19, older men at the time meant someone who was simply older but in my experience, men need time and they need lots of it.
In retrospect, I wish I dated 28+ men. It seems like men when they turn 25 begin to get better at showing what they want but men who are in the 28+ tell you everything you need to know. There’s less games. There’s less drama. They are more confident. There’s less wasted time. A lot of guys at this age have dated and honestly are kind of sick of it. A lot of them want to find a partner and have formed their standards. At this age, men have told me “I’m ready for marriage.” or if they were uninterested instead of ghosting me said “I’m not interested” and moved on amicably.
If you’re young and reading this, don’t be afraid to date someone older. My parents are 15 years apart and have been married for 30 years. The age gap might seem weird to you or your friends but if you want to deal with less bs and are mature for your age/serious about marriage, trust nature and let God do the work for you.