Why I hate dating young men

In the past two years, I’ve spent about a year dating guys my own age. Didn’t have much luck with that so I took the advice of my friend who is seeing someone 10 years older than her, to “date older”. 

When I first started out, I took her advice to heart and I dated “older”. I was 19 at the time and I decided to date a 23-yr-old and even a 22-year-old. It never worked out with either of them. Now, age definitely had something to do with it. Neither of them for example were clear with what they wanted. Neither of them had clear intentions. They would just keep leading me on trying to have sex with me and it just never worked. The fact is, neither of them had any idea what they were doing. They were new to things. They were beginning to realize things about women. I should have been more understanding when I was dating them but I ended up wasting time thinking that after months of seeing each other, they could come to a conclusion as to whether we were in a relationship or not. Neither did. One ghosted. The other one kept stringing me along, made out with me, and I was basically his emotional plate who made him brownies and entertained him with my personality.

When I was 19, older men at the time meant someone who was simply older but in my experience, men need time and they need lots of it. 

In retrospect, I wish I dated 28+ men. It seems like men when they turn 25 begin to get better at showing what they want but men who are in the 28+ tell you everything you need to know. There’s less games. There’s less drama. They are more confident. There’s less wasted time. A lot of guys at this age have dated and honestly are kind of sick of it. A lot of them want to find a partner and have formed their standards. At this age, men have told me “I’m ready for marriage.” or if they were uninterested instead of ghosting me said “I’m not interested” and moved on amicably. 

If you’re young and reading this, don’t be afraid to date someone older. My parents are 15 years apart and have been married for 30 years. The age gap might seem weird to you or your friends but if you want to deal with less bs and are mature for your age/serious about marriage, trust nature and let God do the work for you.



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21-yr-old non-western red pill chick trying to make it out alive in the West. Pro-life. Pro gun. I can be sweet and salty. 50s lover.

5 thoughts on “Why I hate dating young men”

  1. Would you ever consider dating younger guy, let’s say 20 vs 23, why and why not? To me this looks like potentially very dangerous for a woman when it’s suddenly 23 vs 26 or 26 vs 29. Unfortunately won’t be able to compete with 20 xear olds. It’s like a theft, the girl is in the market again, with much lower value. I guess the motivation is purely short term and sex related.


    1. honestly im looking for something serious for marriage so I don’t really take guys who are under 25 too seriously because they still have time to grow. 20 and 23 is too young. Some of them might be capable of LTRs but they’re still figuring out things. I think for men above 25, it’s a safe bet but at the end of the day a woman must screen a man’s potential, must screen what point he is at with his career, etc.


  2. You know that marriage is in crisis, good luck with that. I dont take it’s about age, it’s potential. How many genius are hidden because they dont have the right support hm ? But you’re general rules are correct.
    Maybe moving countries, states, continents ? The things is 25-35 are the in top condition, having golden time of their lives, so risky ?So young men are blocked when they are to young, how to acquire the experiences ? It’s not about having experiences, it’s about maturing, learning fast . Also self love and empathy are good signs


    1. It is about age, not necessarily the number but with age comes experience and maturity. Most men don’t mature unless they’re force to and they do so through experience and mistakes.

      Moving countries seems dumb to me right now but if I have to, I will.

      Dating young men is super risky. Super costly to a woman if she’s trying to keep her number count low because he will probably leave and the guarantee for marriage at that young of an age is slim.


      1. No it’s not age definitely not. It is just that most of the time there some correlation age = experiences. But it is only a general rule. You see older people behaving like little kids sometimes. They are lot of mature young men out there but a stable career/job is another thing.
        Yes maybe traditional countries would be a better pick for you.
        Risky yes, as always. Why should he leave if you are some fantastic woman ? Men leave only if the rs doesn’t good well, or needs are not met. Marriage is a confusing state right now.


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