My Issues with Dating In America

I lived in Izmir for a while when I was very little but then moved to the US so things were different there. I don’t remember much of it but growing up, girls were more feminine and I thought they dressed better. I always kept my hair long. I grew up learning how to make tons of different Turkish foods. I saw a ton of families growing up. 

When I came to the US, things were very different. Girls seemed entitled to everything and they seemed very picky. Personally, I don’t think I could date one. 

Here’s what I think is the problem with most American women:

1. They all talk about how they want to focus on their career and schooling first. They never really talk about marriage which is activity reserved for your late 20s-early 30s.

2. They have very high standards but a lot of them don’t have great self-care. They don’t keep their hair long or style it. They don’t wear nice clothes. Dressing up in the US is not common. Girls like wearing sweat pants/yoga pants but they don’t go to the gym or spend too much time doing cardio.  They don’t wear high heels or tighter fitting clothes. They’re not great at makeup/only wear it for parties. 

3. Most of them don’t go to church or think that they’re too liberal for that.

4. They love drinking. Sure having a wine night sometimes or a mimosa for brunch is fine, but there’s a difference between having one drink and getting a buzz, and being wasted drunk at a frat party.

5. Sex is whatever to them. Some conservative girls I talk to give it up on the third date but a lot of girls just do it without any form of commitment whatsoever.

6. A lot of them think baking/cooking is hard. I have friends who make jokes about burning down their kitchen. 

7. They spend a lot of time on social media and even if they’re not that great looking, they all have a ton of likes/friends on it. 

8. A lot of them don’t eat well or cook for themselves or know their limits/count calories.

9. Many of them love getting manicures and pedicures but they don’t seem to spend much time or money on their hair or skin.

10. Lots of them have acne issues or don’t go to a dermatologist.

Problems with American men:

1. A lot of them don’t go to church and seemed to grow up with Christianity but lost their faith around the time they started college.

2. Expect sex like their female counterparts and will leave you if you don’t have sex within three dates. Making out is a given if it’s a good date.

3. They love to drink in excess. 

4. They’ll flake if you don’t have sex with them. Or they just disappear on you/ghost you.

5. They don’t really know how to talk about their culture/background/family history when I bring up mine in an articulate way. A lot of the convo goes “Ah wow you’re exotic” and “I’m just white. Family is German”. I wish more American men were invested in their background/histories and took pride in that.

6. Majority of them prefer white American women but hate to say it or date interacially as a second resort. I don’t get offended by this but why even bother dating someone you aren’t into or kinda into?

7. They love the idea of “exotic women”. They just don’t really seem experienced in handling one. 

8. A lot of them don’t date for marriage and just to have a good time or to get more out there with women. There’s really no set goal or intention.

9. Very beta or very alpha men seem to thrive off of interracial relationships. I’ve seen many super beta men have attractive non-white girlfriends or attractive betas with not super attractive girlfriends. Ive always seen alphas with pretty girlfriends as well but this isn’t as common. 

10. A lot of them love going out on dates at a club/bar. I think it’s strange to go on a first date at a bar but that’s personally me. I wouldn’t want to get drunk while beginning to know someone.

In general, since moving here my parents have been married for 30 years. Most of my friends parents are divorced or getting a divorce. A lot of people seem unhappy in their relationships or seem like they are settling fot their happiness. 

I hope we can change things here.


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21-yr-old non-western red pill chick trying to make it out alive in the West. Pro-life. Pro gun. I can be sweet and salty. 50s lover.

One thought on “My Issues with Dating In America”

  1. As a man, you should excel in appearance, career and have masculine characterictics – love, desire, strong identity, awareness, honesty, respect, boundaries, entitlement and apply those in interactions with a woman to get what you want balanced with what she wants.


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