I never figured this out because most dating advice that women get on this topic is a giant shitstorm that comes off as “woo go women! Rah rah you’re too awesome to come off as a slut!” advice from glossy magazines like Cosmopolitan or Vogue.
Realistically, a woman should never give out sex to a man unless he says he wants to be in a committed relationship with you. It’s not enough for him to just say “oh I want a relationship someday”. He has to agree to wanting to be in a relationship with YOU, NOW.
Now, how exactly would you know he wants to be in a relationship with you? Well, for starters it’s not just enough for him to meet you once or twice a week because he might be a) dating other people b) a player c) dating for sex. It’s also not enough to be seen in pictures with him on Facebook. It’s also not enough if he calls you to ask you how your day is going.
Now, don’t get me wrong! These are all good signs. You want your future boyfriend/husband to be a good man who goes out of his way to think about you but there are some shady guys and you don’t wanna get played!
The only way you will ever truly know if he wants to be in a relationship with you, is if you have the talk and literally ask him. He might say no. He might say yes. He might need time to think about it. Who knows? Stop making yourself unnecessarily anxious and start being proactive!
The worst thing we as women do is assume things. Unless you ask him, you are assuming everything about your significance to him.
This is why it is important to communicate and not just over text but in person!
Before having sex, get creative and find other ways to seduce him without making out excessively or having sex. Here’s a list of cool things you can do to get to know a guy you’re into:
1. Bake him stuff. Ask him what desserts he’s into.
2. Make him a smoothie if he’s into it.
3. Cook him food. Learn about the savory food he likes to eat.
4. Show and tell. Bring something on your date that is symbolic of a memory, your family, or even a hobby that you do so you can learn more about each other
5. Ask him what books he likes to read or what music he is into. Make him a reading list/mixtape
6. Have conversations about your family and friends.
7. Treat every date as an interview for your future husband and figure out eachother’s values and morals.
8. Make sure your nails, hair, skin are in good shape so you can impress him!
9. Talk about your religious/cultural backgrounds. It can be a cool conversation and you can learn a lot from each other.
10. Take a cooking class/go to a library date/go do a museum tour and learn things together and have a conversation about it