Deciding on when to have sex with a man


I never figured this out because most dating advice that women get on this topic is a giant shitstorm that comes off as “woo go women! Rah rah you’re too awesome to come off as a slut!” advice from glossy magazines like Cosmopolitan or Vogue.

Realistically, a woman should never give out sex to a man unless he says he wants to be in a committed relationship with you. It’s not enough for him to just say “oh I want a relationship someday”. He has to agree to wanting to be in a relationship with YOU, NOW.

Now, how exactly would you know he wants to be in a relationship with you? Well, for starters it’s not just enough for him to meet you once or twice a week because he might be a) dating other people b) a player c) dating for sex. It’s also not enough to be seen in pictures with him on Facebook. It’s also not enough if he calls you to ask you how your day is going.

Now, don’t get me wrong! These are all good signs. You want your future boyfriend/husband to be a good man who goes out of his way to think about you but there are some shady guys and you don’t wanna get played!

The only way you will ever truly know if he wants to be in a relationship with you, is if you have the talk and literally ask him. He might say no. He might say yes. He might need time to think about it. Who knows? Stop making yourself unnecessarily anxious and start being proactive!


The worst thing we as women do is assume things. Unless you ask him, you are assuming everything about your significance to him.

This is why it is important to communicate and not just over text but in person!

Before having sex, get creative and find other ways to seduce him without making out excessively or having sex. Here’s a list of cool things you can do to get to know a guy you’re into:

1. Bake him stuff. Ask him what desserts he’s into.


2. Make him a smoothie if he’s into it.

3. Cook him food. Learn about the savory food he likes to eat.

4. Show and tell. Bring something on your date that is symbolic of a memory, your family, or even a hobby that you do so you can learn more about each other

5. Ask him what books he likes to read or what music he is into. Make him a reading list/mixtape


6. Have conversations about your family and friends.

7. Treat every date as an interview for your future husband and figure out eachother’s values and morals.

8. Make sure your nails, hair, skin are in good shape so you can impress him!


9. Talk about your religious/cultural backgrounds. It can be a cool conversation and you can learn a lot from each other.

10. Take a cooking class/go to a library date/go do a museum tour and learn things together and have a conversation about it




Published by


21-yr-old non-western red pill chick trying to make it out alive in the West. Pro-life. Pro gun. I can be sweet and salty. 50s lover.

6 thoughts on “Deciding on when to have sex with a man”

  1. 10 is one that is often undermined because many women do not understand it until we see it or it’s actively explained. Men bond over experiences. They are less likely than women to grow close to someone they gossip with, or who gifts them things, or who supports them vocally. If they want to be with you, then they want to climb mountains with you, they want to take you out on their bike, they want to show you their favourite restaurant, they want to learn to paint with you, they want to see their team win a big match with you, they want to beat their one rep max with you. And, if you make yourself present at these moments, they will bond to you more and consider you more of a prospect.

    My explanation:

    Worth noting, as 1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 9 and even 10 have some conversational base and 1, 2, 3, 5 and 8 are about doing things FOR him rather than WITH him. For men it’s important to do things together that you both enjoy. Some men want to do it more often, some less. Some men want you in all their hobbies, some just in one or two. But it’s important to bear in mind that although women can bond through acts of affection and words, men bond best through experiences.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I used to think that being sexy and sex is all that a man would want. Surface level wise, yeah but that’s not appropriate for a LTR.

      I feel the dates I’ve been on where we go do things, explore places, and learn about each other were the most memorable.

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s