On Abstaining from Sex and Alcohol


When I was a freshman and sophomore in college, I compromised on a lot of things. I made out with guys who honestly probably did not care about me. I drank alcohol with my “friends” who probably had nothing better to do when 12 o’clock rolled around on Friday. I opened up an okCupid because I thought I could get a boyfriend but never thought about getting a future husband.

The first two years of college were major compromises on my part.

This year, that all changed.

I’ve always abstained from sex but for the last four months, I’ve also abstained from alcohol. Even though I still go out to wine nights, I always bring a bottle of soda or juice from Whole Foods which carries some of the weirdest, organic stuff. Abstaining from alcohol meant a couple things: 1) I had to open up my mind and heart to people who don’t drink 2) I had to find things to do when I was not drinking.

As a result, my friend group changed A loooooooooot. We go out to more wholesome things, explore our city, go out to art galleries and museums, bake and study together. I’ve also opened up an Instagram so I can take lots of colorful, fun photos and I’m in the process of re-vamping all my social media to make me look more attractive. I’ve also taken up a new hobby, fencing.  I also an unashamedly okay with being Turkish and being Muslim and hanging out with other Muslims. I closed my okCupid because it was a waste of time to keep the app and get notifications from guys using cheesy pick-up lines when I didn’t really see a future with them.

But, above all, I’m happier because for the first time I stopped compromising on my morals and values. 

I’m happier knowing that I can still do the things I want to do without drinking, making out with random guys, and still be happy. I’m happier knowing that my life has more value. I’m happier knowing that I don’t have to do waste my time with people who don’t have the same values as me because I do have options. I’m happier because I’m less desperate and I have my own ideas on what I want and what I accept. I’m happier because I’m learning all these new things like how to make a macaron and being a pro-life counselor at a maternity center. I’m happier because I have more friends who want to actually do things. I’m happier because I expect to fall in love with a man before he uses my body. I’m happier because I get an excuse to travel now that I’m fencing! I’m happier because I dress better than I used to and get complimented on my outfits! I’m happier because I have hope now that I do have faith in myself and God.



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21-yr-old non-western red pill chick trying to make it out alive in the West. Pro-life. Pro gun. I can be sweet and salty. 50s lover.

5 thoughts on “On Abstaining from Sex and Alcohol”

  1. Hi, I think you post was very well put. Alot of people say the same thing, but when average Joe asked them out, he will get rejected by the same girl who claims she’s not after some cute guy. But most of them will never give them the time of day. Just the remark “oh I like you as a friend.” That’s why most common guys would rather a woman make the first move in saying hi. I’m interested in you. Because average looking guys believe most women don’t see them for who they are… I’m just saying.


    1. thank you for visiting and reading my blog 🙂 yeah i mean i get that argument makes sense but I hope most men don’t care about what some girl thinks. It shouldn’t matter. I feel like if you think a girl is cute, just ask her even though it’s nervewracking for both sides. I’ve noticed the men who want the easy way out and don’t wanna ask a girl out tend to be less masculine, more insecure, and just aren’t fully grown men which is fine – everyone goes through that. But I hope more men find the confidence they need in this world to go out there. We’re just girls. Nothing special 🙂


  2. I think everything in moderation. Drinking can be fun and a great way of meeting new people, but I think the binge drinking culture in the UK has got out of control and leads people to do a lot of things they regret (who then go on to blame others for their actions). If you drink it’s best to stick to weaker drinks and stop and 2 or 3. Same with sex, I don’t think you have to abstain forever, but it’s best to wait a while and work out what the guy’s intentions are.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I used to think the same way but I realized the hard way that the only way of truly knowing a guy won’t leave you is only through marriage (and of course, there’s still a possibility of cheating) but I’d rather not go there.As for drinking, I’ve never not had a good time and I still go out to bars. I drink a non-alcoholic beer. It’s not that bad. Nobody needs alcohol to meet people – we just don’t have enough faith in ourselves.


      1. Yes I guess if you wanted to marry the first guy you slept with it’s best to wait until marriage! I’ve never felt that way though, I’d just rather it be in a relationship than something casual.

        Liked by 1 person

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