When I was a freshman and sophomore in college, I compromised on a lot of things. I made out with guys who honestly probably did not care about me. I drank alcohol with my “friends” who probably had nothing better to do when 12 o’clock rolled around on Friday. I opened up an okCupid because I thought I could get a boyfriend but never thought about getting a future husband.
The first two years of college were major compromises on my part.
This year, that all changed.
I’ve always abstained from sex but for the last four months, I’ve also abstained from alcohol. Even though I still go out to wine nights, I always bring a bottle of soda or juice from Whole Foods which carries some of the weirdest, organic stuff. Abstaining from alcohol meant a couple things: 1) I had to open up my mind and heart to people who don’t drink 2) I had to find things to do when I was not drinking.
As a result, my friend group changed A loooooooooot. We go out to more wholesome things, explore our city, go out to art galleries and museums, bake and study together. I’ve also opened up an Instagram so I can take lots of colorful, fun photos and I’m in the process of re-vamping all my social media to make me look more attractive. I’ve also taken up a new hobby, fencing. I also an unashamedly okay with being Turkish and being Muslim and hanging out with other Muslims. I closed my okCupid because it was a waste of time to keep the app and get notifications from guys using cheesy pick-up lines when I didn’t really see a future with them.
But, above all, I’m happier because for the first time I stopped compromising on my morals and values.
I’m happier knowing that I can still do the things I want to do without drinking, making out with random guys, and still be happy. I’m happier knowing that my life has more value. I’m happier knowing that I don’t have to do waste my time with people who don’t have the same values as me because I do have options. I’m happier because I’m less desperate and I have my own ideas on what I want and what I accept. I’m happier because I’m learning all these new things like how to make a macaron and being a pro-life counselor at a maternity center. I’m happier because I have more friends who want to actually do things. I’m happier because I expect to fall in love with a man before he uses my body. I’m happier because I get an excuse to travel now that I’m fencing! I’m happier because I dress better than I used to and get complimented on my outfits! I’m happier because I have hope now that I do have faith in myself and God.