“And of everything We have created pairs.” 51:49
I honestly think dating is the dumbest thing ever.
You meet a girl. You like her. Ask her out. Take her out to dinner or a movie or whatnot, pay for it, and then it ends.
Realistically, well it’s just not reality.
Sure, it’s fun for like three hours and you leave and I mean for the most part, I never really felt like dating got me any closer to my goal of marriage. It never really even got me that much closer to get to even know the person. It’s so easy to have fun with someone when you’re out at a nice restaurant or a movie theater but I just never really felt like I got to know the person deep down. It seemed superficial and fake.
That’s when I realized I was doing it all wrong.
It just seems dumb to date someone. There are no guidelines. There are no rules. It’s mindless. You don’t know what you want. There is no end goal.
That got me thinking.
I didn’t want to date someone. I just wanted to marry them and thought the only way to get there was by dating them.
Kissing them at the end of the day, meant nothing.
Making out with them at the end of the day, meant nothing.
Looking at them and flirting with them at the end of the day, meant nothing.
Wanting to love them at the end of the day, meant nothing.
Getting a text back at the end of the day, meant nothing.
It just meant nothing unless I ended up with them.
I don’t really feel that way anymore.
I think if you are a girl and you’re serious about marriage then just say so. Say what you want. Embrace it. Put signs up in your room. Have standards. Let people know what you’re worth and if they don’t like it, then they get screened out and you’re one step closer to your goal of finding someone who does.
For years, I thought marriage was just too much. It was too over the top to want that. It felt like an unattainable goal in American society because marriage is something that only people who date for like several years do.
It also felt kind of insane. That’s how Americans treat marriage.
Marriage is a joke. That’s how people treat it.
It’s even hard to want to meet someone’s family because then people complain about moving to fast or worse yet, the person you’re into doesn’t even have a family because well, they’re divorced.
I don’t think it has to be that way.
I feel like if you want marriage, then yeah you should just go for it. Obviously, don’t be a dumbass and get married to the next person you meet but if you go in with the right intentions and get to know them and their families. That should take probably a couple months. Arranging the marriage and planning when you’re going to do that also take several months but for the most part, getting married shouldn’t take more than like a year and a half assuming everything goes well.
Getting married isn’t hard. It doesn’t have to be hard. We make it hard because we’ve degraded its value. We don’t care about it anymore. We don’t treat it with respect. And we don’t really even know what it means.
For me, when I look at marriage, I think of my parents. I think of how they’ve been together through lots of good and bad things for 31 years. Love got them through some days but most of the time, it was the fact that they both decided to compromise and live with that compromise that got them through all the bad stuff. They worked on this together and I’m pretty damn lucky that they don’t hate each other.
I really do want love. I’ve always wanted that and I figured that marriage is probably the safest way to secure that love so in a way, I want marriage but I know it’s going to be a lot of work and I’m probably not going to get a lot of things I want.
Life is about compromise. It humbles me.