When I was a little kid growing up, I always asked my Mom why I didn’t have a little sister. I guess maybe a lot of kids do that. Anyway, I used to ask my Mom this innocuously. I was probably 8 years old when all of this started.
When I became 18 years old and moved to DC, I began to look for clinical opportunities in my area because I needed clinical experience to apply to medical school. It was another checkbox on the list of things to do but I wanted it to be meaningful.
For some reason, nothing really appealed to me when I thought about stuffing envelopes in the mail room of a hospital even though a hospital was considered clinical setting and technically could count as clinical experience. It just seemed pointless to waste time like that. I wouldn’t learn anything.
After a lot of searching and with the help of God, I ended up finding a lovely pro-life maternity center where I volunteered for a year. Even though the work I did could sometimes be mundane, it really helped expose me to girls who were more feminine, nicer, and sweeter than I was. I really loved the girls who worked there. They were so humble, graceful, and kind. And yeah, they were total Christian sweethearts. They smiled more than I ever could. They seemed genuinely content with their lives.
I, on the other hand, didn’t seem to have my life as put together as them. But I still wanted to surround myself by them so I could one day emulate them.
You see, me and my Mom, we’re like best friends. We talk about everything and we talk a lot because well, we’re women and we just always have something to say. Boys, grades, you name it. I even used to talk to her about all the pro-life work I did. I was proud of the things I saw but some of it was scary.
I didn’t like to see women in pain. I didn’t like to see women carrying children of men who didn’t respect and love them. It was terrifying to see women who were raped or even domestically abused. The tears in their eyes. The anxiety of possibly failing as a mother when they themselves did not have a good model for what a mother even does. Many of these women were on their own. They were alone. They were lonely.
But the greatest thing of all was being able to see how many of these women went from being irresponsible and reckless to learning their self-worth by becoming a mother. I’ve seen women who have walked into our center wanting an abortion to coming back five month later pregnant and worried about how to raise the little thing growing inside of them.
I got to see womanhood. I got to see what maturity looked like. I got to see women care about their relationships their futures, their babies, and above all themselves. This was real female empowerment because these women decided to take accountability for their poor decision-making and had to make changes in their lives because of the creature growing inside of them.
The thing is, I realized that women instinctively and naturally are caretakers. We like baby animals. We like little things. We want to take care of the little fetus inside of ourselves. That’s how God created us. We don’t instinctively want to hurt the little baby inside of us. In fact, when I asked most women what they wanted to do, most of them told me they wanted to keep the baby but it was society that made them feel pressured and think otherwise.
This is also when I realized that the pro-choice movement is not really about having a choice. It is about giving women the false-sense of security by telling us that we should be feel empowered by having the right to do anything and everything we want. In reality, the world does not world like this.
When we abandon our natural femininity, things go wrong. They go so wrong that we are 110% more likely to abuse alcohol and 155% more likely to commit suicide, while 90% feel like they damaged their self esteem. Of course, they go so wrong because we have lost faith in our natural abilities to be ourselves and above all lost our faith in Him.
One of the biggest lessons I learned is that we must help these women and support them in their journey to have children because when we lose faith in our women, we will have lost faith in society. We must not look at a 16-year-old girl and think she is incapable of achieving motherhood because we cannot define the capabilities of a women when God has given us the strength to do everything and anything. We must give her the hope that we give any women.
But above all, God guided me to the truth. He had a plan. He wanted me to know the truth about my family. I learned about my own mother’s loss and ultimately my family’s loss. It wasn’t an easy pill to swallow but I had to do it. And even though my sister is not with me today, she will always be a part of me.
Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raaji’oon, little sis ❤