It’s been a crazy couple of months. I’ve moved out of DC and now I’m in a relationship in Kansas City.
Ever since I’ve moved here, I’ve been playing co-ed frisbee games with my boyfriend.
At first, I really had no idea what to expect.
I figured half the people playing would be female and the other half would be male. I mean, it’s a co-ed team, right? Anyway, co-ed sports are normal in America. I didn’t think much of it and I thought it’d be a fun thing to do now that I’m in a relationship. I mean frisbee is way better than running around on a treadmill or even worse on land, right?
The first time I showed up to the games, I was shocked that there were not really any females who came to play. Well, there was one but she was way older than me and she wasn’t someone I really could connect with. She had been playing the sport for years and was okay with playing with one of the boys. Heck, she blended in with them better. I wouldn’t exactly count her as a “female”.
On the other hand, there was me blossoming with cute naiveté. I mean I wore my Chanel perfume to this thing. I even wore a cute, bright pink tank paired with Lululemon’s and perfectly color-coordinated Nike sneakers.
I looked good. I felt good. That’s all that mattered to me.
I did not go to the game thinking I had to run and sweat. I came to the game thinking I’d have to compete against the other girls. I mean we’re just tossing a disc right and stand there for fifteen minutes, right?
Reality fooled me.
There weren’t really any people on that field that were like me. They were twice my size. They had way more muscle than I ever could have. They were men. Real men playing an aggressive sport.
I hated it.
And I hated myself for having to compete against not only women but having to now compete against men.
I was nothing like these guys.
I was not fast enough. I could not play well enough. I could not throw hard enough. I could not run and keep up. No one would throw the freaking frisbee to me. It was annoying to have to be play against an old man or a little boy (who by the way out ran me and scored multiple times).
That’s how bad I was. It felt awkward to be there.
But that was reality.
I was the slowest on the team. I could not keep up. I was not one of the boys and I did not want to be.
I wanted to bake an apple pie and put my hair tied up in a chignon. I wanted to do ballet at a dance center. I wanted to watch makeup tutorial videos and figure out whether I should buy the Morphe palette 35R or 35OS.
I wanted to do girly things. I wanted there to be some shade of pink involved. I wanted it to be cute and fun not aggressive and sweaty. That wasn’t for me.
I did not sign up for that.
The last thing I wanted to do is compete with men over something I knew I could not beat them at. This was their thing. This was not my thing. It was self-defeating and humiliating at best. I mean there’s no way I can defend a 6-foot-tall, 200-pound man when I’m literally half of his size and half as fast.
I am a girl. I wouldn’t even consider myself a woman because I barely have enough experience to be one. I’m young. I have long hair that bounces around when I run. I have small, feminine hands that are meant for baking and cooking and taking care of the kids, not aggressively cutting in front of someone to get a disc.
And that’s when I realized that I don’t need to be here forcing myself to play alongside men.
Co-ed sports is inherently dumb because it forces women to compete against men. The only way to play alongside men is by becoming more like them. This in turn, forces us to go against our natural feminine mindset so that we can adapt into something more masculine. Sacrificing one’s femininity is not a sacrifice worth making because women will never win this war. At the end of the day, it’s a lose-lose situation for women and men. Women lose their natural femininity just so they can be mediocre at being masculine. And men will never appreciate women for being someone they are not.
The last thing we need is more people with a masculine mindset because everything turns into a competition. Even stupid frisbee games that are not supposed to be taken seriously do. We don’t need more people in this world who want to compete because women will never win that war.
And what most people don’t realize is that we do this routinely to women.
We force women into male-dominated environments with the expectation that they will retain their natural, feminine submissiveness while performing like a man. We want women to have sexy, long hair and look sexy in a pencil skirt without being aggressive and manly but still have to get shit done.
We reward women for being like men but we get mad at women for acting bitchy.
Women turn into bitchy cunts when you make them do things that are against their nature. Leave women alone. Let them be in the kitchen. Let them make food for you. Let them get married young. Let them play with dolls. Let them wear pink and stop lecturing your daughters to wear a t-shirt that encourages them to go into STEM. Let them keep their hair long. Let them get their nails done. Let them study whatever their idealistic heart desires. Let them go to church. Let them laugh. Let them be “dumb”. Let them rely on their husbands for money. Let them take care of the kids. Let them shave their legs. Let them dance. Let them have a hundred girl friends before worrying about getting a boyfriend.
So the next time you see a receptionist who is a total cunt or a soccer girl who is pissed off, remember that these women are part of a system that has failed them. They will never be nice and submissive and not be bitchy when they are being forced to do a man’s work.